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Song Parodies -> "Blowgun"

Original Song Title:

"No One"

Original Performer:

Alicia Keys

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A rain forest tribesman finds a new tool which changes his life.... For the better?
Critters I could choke
But they're too hard to strangle
What is the cure
To survive here in this jungle?

Not a seasoned hunter
I'm not trained to fight
Yes, I'm scrawny cause
Wild beasts give me such a fright
Spears you keep chucking, You can slay with your spikes
But since I blow, I'm gonna pick up this big pipe

Blowgun, blowgun, blowgun...
So sick of the taste of nuts and tree leaves
Blowgun, blowgun, blowgun...
They'll all be my prey, This gust I'll push through bamboo... boo... boo...
Snakes put on my plate, This yummy meal will do

Once this rain forest's tribe's clown...
Now these darts I'm hurling
Gnu will quickly hit the ground...
And gnu steaks I'm burnin'

I'm decked out in feathers
From birds slain in flight
I'm not hungry cause
Arrow's sting when they're in backsides
Panthers keep stalking, They should fear for their lives
Don't need a bow, My breathing has that bolt take flight

Blowgun, blowgun, blowgun...
I'll fill up my waist with bugs I'm belting
Blowgun, blowgun, blowgun
I'll beat a blue jay but they're not here to choose, choose, choose
I'd fire a blade right at an eel...

I'd blow some needles through this wood
To dine... On monkeys but they're too fast
And they... go to my thighs, I'm getting wide, Due to these meals
Huffing when trees I climb, I'm tossing out this damn blowgun

Blowgun, blowgun...
I need to lose weight, Shooting's too easy
Blowgun, blowgun, blowgun
This tool was great but now my meals are roots

Blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow
Blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - December 08, 2015 - Report this comment
Nice, 555! In WW2 Dayaks of Borneo used blowguns against the Japanese and taught trapped Americans as well as Australian forces how to use them. Postwar, Malaysian Communists used blowguns guns against the British. Currently, the CIA and some Special Ops use a compressed air dart gun. It fires the projectile at 1000 fps up to 2000 ft with pinpoint accuracy. E European Armies as well as Spetnaz are trained with knives, compound bows, axes, poison tipped ammunition of various types, and even slingshots!!! The compound bows are particularly effective due to no muzzle flash and nearly no sound compared to a rifle!
Matthias - December 08, 2015 - Report this comment
I was hoping to see you here Rob. I always like getting the history lesson on my parodies about weapons or military equipment. (This, my drone parody, my army parody even my ninja squirrels one). Thanks for dropping by!
? - December 10, 2015 - Report this comment
This is what I like; creativity. Unlike a certain someone churning out stuff based on cheesy commercials. (cough cough M** P****). 555s
Max Power - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
"?", I'd like to see your contributions to the site if you have any. As for the parody in hand, only thing the person in the story will have to worry about is getting too complacent since it can wear away the edge. As for the animals? To them, life sure blows. 555
bobpiecheese - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Pretty good parody here, loved the twist. There were a few pacing stumbles (usually right before the chorus) but maybe that's just Alicia's melismatic vocals getting in the way. 555 darts!
Abbott Skelding - December 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Nicely done! It was interesting how you were going to make a story out a nice rhyme with the original title...and you managed to do just that. Plus, anytime you can use "gnu" in a parody, you must be doing something right haha
Blaydeman - December 30, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I really liked the concept, but for some reason I found there to be a really strange disconnect between the OS and the parody. When I read it wothout the music, it works very well. When I sing it with the tune though, it feels and sounds odd. Idk, maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. However, I cannot deny that I thought the story was fun and the rhymes superb!

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