(chorus 1)
I think I should warn ya
About Governor of California
Life is gonna bore ya
As Governor as California

When you are the Governor of such a nice state
You can spend much money, if recall is your fate
135 candidates now, took some off the shelf
How many eliminated? One-hundred and twelve!

This will be a crazy, stupid, messed up recall vote
How long will it take to read the list? Someone make a note
To read the whole list first while on the Internet
Pick one 'fore you go to the box, if not you could forget...

Ahnold Schwarzenegger is the first choice
Rootin-tootin he-man driving in an old Rolls Royce
Time to spend state money, a few million in cash
Buy diapers for the baby, give him diaper rash

Larry Flynt is running, from Hustler magazine,
His Lieutenant Governor should be another runner, Mary Carey the porn queen
The brand new tax-deductible could be lap dances
And a new legality could be public nude prances!

Maybe all the news is being oversold
But a California governor in a centerfold?! Sweet!

(chorus 2)
You won't get a lover
As California gov'nor
They'll hit you with whale blubber
If you become the Governor

I would vote for Terry Tate, the office linebacker
His other job would be "lazy-worker bone cracker"
Los Angeles would have a team in the NFL
It's their job to lose more money, the state might be in hell...

Ariana Huffington, maybe the only politician
I wonder if running for this job was a hard decision?
You get to blow all the money that you please
If Fort Knox was in California, gold would be replaced with cheese (and wine!)

Don't forget Gray Davis, the unlucky recalled man
If he loses, they'll stick him in the jail minivan (budget cuts)
After much suspense, who is the winning man?
Stupid Diff'rent Strokes fans all voted for Gary Coleman! (Whatcha talkin' bout-stupid?)

I really need to stop this song, I need to take a break
With all these stupid people I need a milkshake!

(either chorus)