Then how in the hell would you catch a plane if you don't buy a ticket? Aren't you required to buy a ticket before you board a flight?

I think Fred is trying to be complimentary with this bit, judging by the main subject of the song, but it doesn't work in the slightest considering he's implying that her beauty's either useless or arrogant in some way (way to go, Fred!) Which, all in all doesn't make sense to begin with.

I can't make this out. 'If the egg don't stain?' what? are you egging people's houses again? 'you'll be ringing off the hook' are you a telephone? I can't even tell if it's supposed to be an idiom or metaphor for that matter.

This song is a grammatical nightmare, with awful sentence structure; these are just some of the lyrics to show it. Gerund-verb agreement, subject-verb agreement, phrasing, and missing pronouns in this song are all atrocious! What were they thinking when they wrote this? Elementary students compose better sentences than this band can!

The whole song is about a woman who's depressed because her life didn't turn out how she thought it would.