Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were having dinner at an expensive New York restaurant. It was the place to be seen and both had dressed for the occasion. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and diamond tiara while Fred wore his smartest morning suit. But the evening was marred when the waiter bringing their deserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge.
'I�'m terribly sorry' said the waiter.
You should be' replied Fred 'Thanks to you I�'ve got pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails.'

I included this riddle with a mail-in ticket request for a Dead show at the LA Coliseum (60,000+) and the ticket people must have liked it because I got a pair of front row center seats!
Q: How can you tell if Deadheads have been in your house?
A: They're still there!

What do you call parachutists over a Grateful Dead concert?
Acid Rain!

Jerry comes to his senses right after his death, looks around and sees that he is in the midst of rock music's late great ones: Jimi Hendix, Janis Joplin, Elvis Presley, and many more. He even sees his old friend Pigpen.
So Jerry walks up to him and after their initial greetings says, 'This is fantastic, man! I never thought heaven would be like this, spending all of eternity playing music with all the great ones!'
Pigpen looks up at Jerry and says, 'What? You mean you think you're in heaven?'
Just then, Karen Carpenter appears on stage, takes the microphone, and says, 'Alright now, one more time until you get it right: 'Close to you.''

Q - What did Jerry Garcia say when he came out of rehab? A - Man, this music sucks!

Q: How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.

How meany Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to actually change it, 2,000 to take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.

The future is unwritten
- Joe Strummer