Did you hear about Elton John's new album featuring 'Candle in the Wind?
They decided not to call it 'Live in Paris'.

Elton John is now writing his next song about himself...
It's called 'Like a Gerbil in the Wind.'

Elton John is writing a tribute for Mother Teresa.
He's calling it 'Sandals in the Bin'.

In the early days of his career, Elton John was approached to do background music for a movie. He wrote the music without seeing the script, so, when the previews came up, he arrived at the cinema wondering what the movie would be like. Looking around, he noticed he was sitting next to Alice Cooper. When the movie started, Elton was stunned to discover it was one of the hardest hard-core porn films he'd ever seen. Deeply embarrassed, he turned to Alice and whispered 'Actually, I only came along to hear my music.'
'Yeah, man', said Alice, 'and I only came along to see my snake.'

Interviewer: Is that really your hair?
Elton John: Yes of course, I've got the receipt.

Q: What's the similarity between Richard Hammond* & Elton John?
A: They both have skid marks on their helmet.

(*UK TV motoring presenter who crashed nearing 300mph on a shoot in Sep 06 & was ok)

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
Princess Diana never became a queen of England