Jokes about Eddie Van Halen from the largest music humor site on the web. Check out the index for other performers we have jokes about.
Did you hear that Eddie Van Halen was running with the devil? Yeah, the two of them ran all the way to hell and they got married.
Eddie Van Halen & his band were doing a Cookout with Hot Dogs and there were girls involved. So Eddie Pulls down his Pants in front of all the ladies & Shouts Out Loud "WEENIES, WEENIES WEINERS FOR SALE." So, Now David Lee Roth Comes Over and Says "Eddie Pull Your Pants Up." Eddie Says "Come On David, Everybody Wants Some."
Eddie Van Halen Is So RETARDED That He Checked Himself Into The STATE HOSPITAL. BUT GET THIS, The State Hospital Is In PANAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie Van Halen decides to Get a Part Time Job at BURGER KING To Pay David Lee Roth Back some cash that he barrowed off David. So Eddie and this DUMB BRUNETTE GIRL Named LEILA are both learning how to make the burgers. The manager shows them the correct way on how to flip them. Of course, Eddie and Leila went on their lunch break and both got stoned from cocaine. So when they came back, Eddie Says to her "I got a better way on how to make the burgers." Leila says to Eddie Van Halen "Okay Show me how." So Van Halen takes his Two MIDDLE FINGERS AND says to THE DUMB BRUNETTE "Okay this is how you do it." The Dumb Brunette asks How I do what? Eddie Says "Congratulations, I just showed you how to flip a burger."
Eddie Van Halen wants to get high on coke tonight. So take your whiskey home.
It was during the concert, Eddie Van Halen had a weak bladder, He hadn't gone pee all day. FINALLY, The concert was over and after Eddie Van Halen finishes by saying FUCK YOU GOODNIGHT, He Pulls down his pants and PEES on the camera. After he is finished Peeing he starts to sing it FEELS SO GOOD to Finally pee. Then before he zips up his pants he says you wanna meet ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK.
Many of you know that Eddie Van Halen And Valerie Burtenelli Got Divorced In 2007. So My Question is to you Q:What were Eddie's Last Words To Burtenelli Before The Divorce Was Finalized? A: FUCK YOU, GOODNIGHT.
Q: Did you hear about Eddie Van Halen and Janie Liszewski got married on JUNE 27, 2009. You know what happened on the wedding night at the hotel they were staying at? A: A HOT SUMMER NIGHT WITH THE RADIO.
Q: Did you hear what Eddie Van Halen Did when there was a FIRE INSIDE the APARTMENT BUILDING he was living at? A: He JUMPED out the window.
Q: Do You Know Why Eddie Van Halen Snorts Coke So Much? A: So he can get Higher And Higher Until He Can't Go On In Life.
Q: How do you make Eddie Van Halen Smile? A: Give Him Coke and A Root Beer Float.
Q: Is Eddie Van Halen Still Alive? A: He Is Physically, But Mentally, HIS BRAIN IS STILL TRAPPED IN THE YEAR 1984.
Q: What Does Eddie Van Halen Yell Whenever He Is About To Pee In The Toilet? A: Fire In The Hole.
Q: What is Eddie Van Halen's Favorite Soda to drink? A: I'm Gonna Have To Say It's COKE.
Q: Who Is Eddie Van Halen's Favorite Member Of The CARR HOPPS? A: JOEY FINGERS
Q: Why does Eddie Van Halen have this thing For giving people the MIDDLE FINGER All The Time? A: Because to him, it FEELS SO GOOD
Q:Did you hear that there is a place Called FINGERS SCHOOL DISTRICT? A: EDDIE VAN HALEN Got hired As The PRINCIPAL Of The MIDDLE SCHOOL.
Q:Did you know that Eddie Van Halen loves to eat Chicken Fingers? A: He Only Eats The MIDDLE ONES.
Q:WHY DID EDDIE VAN HALEN GO AND RUN IN THE GEORGIA MARATHON? A:BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT THE DEVIL WAS RUNNING IN THE RACE
Q:What's Eddie Van Halen's favorite Neil Sedaka song? A: hey Little Devil
Q:Where does Eddie Van Halen Do His Shopping? A: FINGER HUT.
There were some people talking about Mount St Helens Volcano. Eddie Van Halen being nosy like usual decides he wanted some of the conversation. So Finally, Eddie Van Halen Chimes in and says " Sucks that I wasn't there. Finally the one old gentlemen asks WHY'S That. Eddie Van Halen Says Because I missed it. Older Gentleman: Missed What? Eddie Van Halen: THE ERUPTION. Finally a Younger man says "oh I get it.
This is a funny joke about "THE MISSING GUITAR" Starring David Lee Roth And Eddie Van Halen David Lee Roth(to Eddie): Where is it? Eddie Van Halen (to David): Where's What? David Lee Roth (to Eddie): Where did you put my guitar? Eddie Van Halen( to David): That's not important right now. David Lee Roth (to Eddie): Well what am I supposed to do we've got a concert coming up and I don't have an electric guitar to play for it. Eddie Van Halen (to David): Well David, We WILL FINGER THAT OUT LATER. (Editor's note: Could you PLEASE not write the artist's name or the joke entirely in capital letters?)
WELL NOW THIS IS A LONG TIME AGO,Eddie Van Halen arrives to pick up little Wolfgang from Kindergarten He shows up naked because he knew that there were female teachers involved. Just in a knick of time as Mr. Van Halen Arrives into the classroom. The Female teacher GASPS Next thing Van Halen knows is The Principal is Surrounding him The Principal says to Eddie "Why are you showing the teacher your balls?" Then Van Halen replies " I WANTED TO LOOK HOT FOR THE TEACHER."
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